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There was a time I dreaded Mothers Day. I bought a bland card and either some bland flowers or bland candy just to avoid doing nothing. Sadly, bland accurately described my relationship with my mother. And that was on the good Mothers Days. I would make excuses to go a day early or week early to avoid going on Mothers Day. It was a duty, something expected of me.
I loved and wanted to be close to my mother. I believe she wanted that too. But we were both wounded people who had a lot of unfinished business. If we were together long enough to get beyond the discussion of weather and local gossip, it could get ugly fast. Both of us felt we were owed by the other and both of us had a short fuse regarding injustice.
It seemed mother was writing and directing a play. But the character I was supposed to play never fit the scene or story line. So my way of coping was to limit exposure. Short visits with as much time in between as possible.
Then, in 1987, at the age of 32, I had a life changing experience with Jesus. I was tired of being angry and wrecking relationships, but had no idea God could and would provide peace. The day after my spiritual rebirth, I met my mother for lunch. I told her I had been saved and asked her to forgive me for all the problems I had caused. I also told her I didn't know for sure what God wanted our relationship to be like, but I was willing to do whatever God wanted me to do. I resolved that day to no long participate in the destruction. I would not give up on our relationship. I would pray for us each day. I would forgive immediately. I would prayerfully speak the truth in love to guide our relationship. We made progress.
Over the years we experienced healing and learned to love freely, respect and appreciate each other. We were closest the last 5 years she was alive, even as her health and eye site diminished. God answered our prayers for each other and we enjoyed our time together.
If you are a mother, ask God to help you see your child through His eyes. Give God time and room to work. Only give advice when asked and choose to not argue. Believe in God enough to believe in your child and claim God's promises for your relationships. Forgive as often as needed. Extend love and grace freely. Those will be good seeds that God will bare much fruit through. Allow your child to see how a woman of faith walks through life.
If your mother is still living, ask God to help you see her through His eyes. Give God time and room to work in her life. Don't get all worked up around Mothers Day, but honor her in the way you live your life daily. Forgive as often as needed. Extend love and grace freely.
"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you." Exodus 20:12
"'Honor your father and mother' -- which is the first commandment with a promise -- 'that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.'" Ephesians 6:2-3
"Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4
"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or blemish. but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself." Ephesians 5:21-28
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." Ephesians 5:33
"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right." Ephesians 6:1
Mutual respect, love and trust. Husbands who are safe, easy to respect and trusting in God. Wives who are safe, easy to love and respect and trusting in God. Both willingly submit to God's call in their personal life and in their relationships. Two having become one.
Children who live in a safe home and see a good example.
Honor your father and mother in the way you live your life each day.
Obey because parents know what they are doing and can be trusted.